I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
