I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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