You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize