Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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