do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
