Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think your dad took our porno
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
