Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
