I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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