Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
