What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
