I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sober January is a disaster.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
