went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
