i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
