The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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