If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
