Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
