I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize