That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
