the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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