soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
