So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
