I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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