Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
