omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize