Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
