Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
