he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
