Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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