but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
