it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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