I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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