She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
