her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
