and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
why is half of my head shaved?
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