actually, I'm a sock model
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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