Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
