Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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