But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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