I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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