you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
