he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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