Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
