i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
