She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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