Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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