Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
