hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
