Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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