No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
