That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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