I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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