i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
