Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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