a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
