i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
