omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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