do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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