If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
