I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
