Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
