I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize