Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
