is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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