: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
