Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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