never play flip cup with pint glasses
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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