I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize