I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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