you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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