One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
