thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
