I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize