If i come over, it means nothing
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
wow bdsm is so cute
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
