i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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